March 16, 2013

Silence

There was nothing outside but the pitch-dark blackness of predawn. All I could see from my shot-gun vantage point was the little halo of light illuminating patched pavement on the Arkansas backroad. With ten hours of travel ahead, I adjusted my neck pillow and settled in for the long haul.

Then the vehicle slowed and softly crunched into gravel on the shoulder.

I jerked out of reverie. "What's wrong? What are we doing?"

"Close your eyes," the kindly voice behind the wheel instructed, "and count to thirty."

I smiled, and obeyed. Whatever this man was up to, it was sure to be good.

Childlike wonder intensified as the silence lengthened.

"Ok, now open your door and step out of the car."

Car doors clicked open, then shut. Our footsteps sounded on the gravel. Again, all was silent except for the sounds of the night.

"Now then, open your eyes and look up."

A inky black panorama stretched before me studded with stars. Orion, Ursa Major, Ursa Minor...
Here, far from street lights and urban haze they seemed close enough to touch, though already they were receding into the misty purple of the coming dawn.

He just wanted to show me the stars. He knew I'd like them.

I settled back into my seat with a happy heart, hazily pondering something about the little acts of kindness making up the sum of life's happiness..

Then it hit me.

Seeing the stars wouldn't have been so sweet, nor would it have taken my breath away if it hadn't been for the silence.

Those moments of suspenseful waiting were what made the difference between "Hey, the stars are nice this morning," and the unforgettable, heart-soaring "Wow, look at those stars."

And you know what I think?

I think if Jesus wanted to, He could just send one sweet thing piled onto another. He could give me a life where I always felt satisfied, full and contented. He could make my days a continuous flow of beautiful experiences, kind words, encouraging encounters, and lighthearted feelings. He could do away with "personality opportunities" (aka conflicts), false accusations, discouragements, and confrontations. Or He could always open up heaven's plans to me so I would know what the purpose of these trials are. He could surround me with all my favorite people to encourage me. 

But He doesn't.

Instead, he silently pulls my life to a stop every now and then, and softly tells me to close my eyes and wait. Rest in Me. He invites. I will bring it to pass.

And as surely as I can count on gravity to work, I know that His promises work too. I know that, be it thirty seconds or thirty days, there will come a time of refreshing again. There will be songs and laughter and my heart will thrill with wonder at His surprises.

And I will enjoy those surprises ten times more because of His silence.

Know what else I think?

I think there's some people in the world that I would have been terrified of if they had pulled me to the side of the road and told me to shut my eyes. But with my friend, I had not a second thought. I trust him.

I think Jesus wants His foolish little lambs to mature out of a feeling-based experience that loves Him in the happy times and questions Him in the silence. He wants me to be His friend, and to trust Him when He does crazy things.

Why..I believe I will!


9 comments:

  1. :) I so need to call you... I believe I will! I'll try to give you a call in the morning, k? ;) Luv ya tons.

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    1. This is father-figure, not boyfriend-figure, lol. Just to clarify! But I'd still love to hear from you! ;P

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    2. Ahahahaha - I love how you read my mind!! ^_^ hahaha (I was wondering, but that wasn't the only reason I wanted to call you.) ;) And I just tried to call, but there was no answer. Did you get a new number?

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    3. No, I was just in the shower. :) I tried calling back and got some guy with a south african accent, lol. Try again!

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  2. That silent waiting part... Mmmm. Wow. You didn't happen to have me in mind when you wrote that, did you??

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  3. I needed that today. Praise the Lord that He is still right by our side, even in the silence.

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