January 11, 2013

Moses' Mouth

I am NOT an organized person! Nor am I an analytical thinker! I do. not. relish researching and planning. Schedules make me claustrophobic.
I hover on the social, perceptive, deep feeling, intuitive side of life, and I like it there.

This first week of student teaching has stretched me. The structured program is forcing me into "the box", and making me plan and organize. I find myself scrambling to learn material just to stay ahead of my students. and then somehow I'm supposed to document and analyze everything in logic and theory and structure. I wish so badly that I could do it justice.. I wish I had one of those brains that loves knowledge and stores it in easily accessible little boxes. I wish I were one of those people that can make an outline in their brain at the drop of a hat.

The other day I just got overwhelmed with it and told my eternally patient supervising teacher, "Arrrghhghhhhh!!!!! I CAN'T DO THIS."

She just smiled.

She knows me too well.

This morning, perusing through the account of the burning bush, I resonated with Moses.

"God! They're not going to listen to me! I can't speak!" (Ex 4:1)


And I picture the Almighty smiling just like my teacher. A slow, thoughtful smile with a twinkle in His eye...

"Moses, who made your mouth?" 

"Beth, who made your brain?

Have I not formed you perfectly and wonderfully? Have I not made you capable of infinite development? 

Silence.

Will you let me help?

5 comments:

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    1. Senior Speech, Freshman Bible, and Computer Literacy.

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  2. Hmmm, that made me think some deep thoughts. I have felt sort of the same way, but from an opposite perspective. Something more like, "Aaahhh! I wish the relationship side of teaching worked more like solving problems in math class!" or "I'm not creative enough for this!" But God made my brain too, and He can totally help me too! Thank you so much. :)

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    1. :) Maybe in heaven we'll all be whole-brained!

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  3. I know that exact struggle. You will learn coping skills, and how to get by with time. See if you can find another deep feeling teacher, and figure out how they do it. There are short cuts, but you probably can't use them while you are student teaching. Learn all you can from the people who do it well while you have them near by, ready to help you. And then you can do teaching your way once you are finished with your education.

    Hugs.

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