September 11, 2011

When Faith Runs Deep

I can count on one hand the moments of my life when a song has seared through the tough casing on my heart and brought sweet healing to my soul..

Great is Thy Faithfulness- In Friday-night vespers the night before my re-baptism when I thought my parents didn't care enough to come. Oh, the sweetness of remembering that He is faithful. (Little did I know that I was just moments away from being surprised by the world's most dedicated mother, who had defied the impossible and found a way to be there just for that day-- for me.
Twila Paris' I Will Listen- When this dreamer had forgotten how to dream or trust and wasn't sure she'd remember how if she tried. Sweet relief to surrender to His dreams for me..
Sean Nebblett's Promise- Twice. When the lie that "life isn't fair and no one cares" became all too real and convincing. My Father led me to Isaiah 50 (the first just on the random, the second a sermon) and then somehow shuffled the tracks in my car audio system to play Promise. That's a recipe for some hot, hot broken tears and a sweet, sweet peace. (Thank you, friend.. the music you have been given reveals in itself that it is heaven-inspired. "O Sacred Head" and "I Will Change Your Name" could easily have made it onto this list as well.) 

Placing these moments all side by side makes it seem like my life is an emotional roller-coaster. Truthfully, all these experiences were all within a couple years of each other..but it's been a long time. Since that time emotions have stabilized, depression has relaxed its death-grip, the suicidal-thought phase faded away without me even knowing it was gone until one day I woke up and realized it was missing.. I guess that calm inner joy of Jesus just managed to gently crowd everything else out.

Life is rich and love is free for the taking. The joy is too big to bottle. It spills over to friends and strangers alike creating more joy in return than what was given in the first place-- simple kindness is so easy to give and brings back such rich returns. Greater responsibilities bring more widespread opportunities for sharing, and as the horizon expands the larger challenges make opportunities for larger miracles. Yes, life with Jesus is sweet.

But every once in a while something gets tripped and I find myself facing that blackness again. Wondering... was there any progress made? Or am I, after all, the same hopeless mess I used to be? Have I given counsel to others only to end up, myself, a castaway? (1 Corinthians 9:27) After you've run so far away from the old man, it's heart sickening to find him still so close at hand.

And yet... it's so heart-healing to discover in those moments that the God of today is the same as the God of yesterday. His promises are just as true as they've been every other time I believed them. Satan's lies are still as unfounded as they've always been. And even when the heart has been re-encased in its steel armor, God can once again send the perfect song to unlock my hardened emotions. He does, after all, see when my intellect has chosen to believe the truth of His promises but the emotions are imprisoned and cannot follow..

When Faith Runs Deep- Lyndsay Taylor and Joanna Black

It's hard to see the time fly by and see things aren't quite right in your life
and when you feel you can't give anymore of yourself
because it's just too hard that's when faith runs deep.
So take hold of what you know, take hold of love
that doesn't come and go
take hold of His promises, His faithfulness, 
these are the times when faith runs deep

And with the emotions released, He could share the problem:
...rooted and grounded in Christ.
But too often our prayers are moulded by coldness and backsliding. Those who do not deny self and lift the cross of Christ, will have no courage to approach a heart-searching God.  {Bible Echo  September 24, 1894}
And the solution:
It is only by watching unto prayer, and the exercise of living faith, that the Christian can preserve his integrity in the midst of the temptations that Satan brings to bear upon him. But "whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world; and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith." Talk to your heart constantly the language of faith: "Jesus said He would receive me, and I believe His word. I will praise Him; I will glorify His name." Satan will be close by your side to suggest that you do not feel any joy. Answer him: "This is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.' I have everything to be glad of; for I am a child of God. I am trusting in Jesus. The law of God is in my heart; none of my steps shall slide."  {ibid.}
Yes, that's when faith runs deep...


  1. You are a fantastic writer. Thanks for sharing the lyrics on your blog and I'm so happy the Lord ministered to you through them. :)

  2. I'm blessed to read this, Beth... And ever so glad I decided to publish that song. God's gifts are sweetest when shared.

  3. ...i remember the night I received the name of this song through a text....

    you are a blessing Beth.
    Continue letting God use you
    the way you have been.
    You are a fountain of blessings
    and the best part about it is
    you don't even know it.<3

  4. I just found your blog by discovering this song for the first time and seeing your link. I have totally enjoyed reading some of your posts. I have the sense that yours will be one that sharpens me along my own journey. Lord bless you!

    I do a little writing too and would love it if you "stopped by" sometime.

  5. i LOVE this song -God bless you :D